On Wednesday afternoon I wiped down my desk, emptied my lateral file and took one more glance over my desk to make sure I hadn’t missed anything when it hit me – I would no longer gaze out that beautiful, historic window overlooking the bay, I wouldn’t be sitting daily under the barrel vaulted ceiling with its ornate ribs & cornices and I wouldn’t be spending hours in the company of my coworker and bosses who over the past five years are more family to me now than colleagues. I drove home that afternoon with a bittersweet feeling within me - finally I would be coming to Petoskey by choice and not chained to the 9-5 that pulled me away from Jamie and Porter for so many many hours of the week.
This is something I have been longing for some time now. I used to promise Porter when he was a baby that I would find a way to make a change, so that everyday wasn’t a crazy scramble to get him to daycare and get us out the door to our jobs, jobs that we are tremendously grateful to have, but ultimately were not offering the kind of growth that justified the crazy-cycle. We were surviving, treading water and trying to eek out five minutes of time for ourselves after being gone all day, then returning home to make dinner, clean dinner, bath time, and bed time, pack lunches, maybe do laundry and prepare to do it all over again.
You can only do that so long, even for the best of employers, under the best of circumstances, until it wears you down so low that you start asking yourself the important questions and re-evaluating your priorities. Which is how I came to have a very understanding conversation with my boss over Christmas that lead to our mutual parting of ways so to speak, where we’ve wished each other the best for the future, and plan to work together again on different terms – therefore allowing me the freedom to be more flexible personally and professionally.
So now, if I can be honest, I find myself
unemployed freelance, in a terrible economic climate – it is a sink or swim situation, but I am more excited than I am panicked, eerily calm about the next step for myself as a designer – but I know undeniably that God’s hand orchestrates my everyday and it is by my unwavering faith in Him that I have confidence that we will be okay.
Unsolicited advice time! I would welcome your thoughts and comments on this new venture, perhaps you’ve been down a similar road before and have some helpful tips for me, or maybe you have some great ideas for a name….for baby girl or the business! Or (shameless plug alert) maybe you or someone you know would be interested in working with a rather talented interior designer – ha!
This new year is only a day old and already is off to an exciting start – I am so glad to have you along to share in our story. Thank you for following along with me this past year and here’s a 2012 full of blessings and exciting opportunities for us all!